First off, I must express gratitude that I was born in a part of the world that experiences summer in December. I don’t care how romantic the American movies try to make the snowy Christmas thing look, fuck that, I can think of nothing less merry and happy than freezing my way through Christmas and New Year. Sorry America, you got second prize on this one, nay, third prize.
‘Tis the season bitches, and as much as I prefer it to a cold winter, I’m still not a big fan of the blazing sun, and I don’t particularly care for Christmas, not for its excess nor its mythology. But the combo of sun, food, drink and myth seems to bring a somewhat happier side to people, especially here in holiday city, Cape Town if you no know. I like happy people you see. Fuck a grump.
Just wanna dish out a little bit of unsolicited advice to people from my other favourite city, Johannesburg, specifically the ones who will be joining us down here for the holidays. First off, don’t buy into that shit about how cliquey CT is, unless they’re assholes (in which case you don’t wanna play with them anyway) everybody loves a shiny new toy, just don’t be a dildo, otherwise no one will want to be seen playing with you.
Remember the goal is not to act like you’re in Jozi in CT, so break away from your group, explore, this is not Loeries weekend, relax. The Camps Bay Promenade, V&A Waterfront and Long street are not the be all end all of Cape Town, there is soooo much more, so much that a lot of us residents can enjoy an entire year of beautiful Cape Town living without spending more than a days worth at those destinations combined, once again, explore.
Unfortunately I’m no tourist guide so I won’t hold your hand through your exploration, but make sure to hang out with some Capetonians and you’ll be well on your way to new discoveries. Like I mentioned above, everybody loves a shiny new toy.
Also, please, as much as you bloody can, drive out of the city to the many fuck amazing locations that are the reason some of us call this province home. There is so much to do and see, just 30 minutes, an hour or a couple hours outside the city. I supposed i should also warn you here that occasionally you will run into privatised land/beaches which really feels like it should be public, an annoying occurrence that feeds one’s anger at the habits of the privileged. however, there is so much more that is still not private, so enjoy it before a bunch of fuckers buy it and and add a security guard and a boom gate.
But do you boo, it’s your holiday anyway, you fucking do what you want with it. I just had to give a few pointers, because you know, you might be someone I follow on instagram or friend with on Facebook, and that ‘hotel room to Long street to Camps bay then back again’ shit on my timeline makes me wanna go pro-mia and purge my brunch. So please explore, you are now at one of the world’s top holiday destinations, not to mention World Design Capital.